Upright.....

Met with Dr. Parma (naturopath) to go over treatment results etc.  He is taking a 6-month sabbatical to work on a book he is hoping to release and to collate the cancer study results he is doing, which are finished in June.  So, I get handed off to another doctor there.  Diane's doctor is back from maternity leave so I will transfer to her.  Gonna miss Dr. Parma....  When I see Dr. Keith (oncologist) I am to ask for my "alk" and "egfr" results from the lung biopsy.

We met with Dr. Keith on June 1st and he was in much better spirits...more positive.  I asked for the lung biopsy results and he said they were "negative".  Apparently, that means that I am not a good candidate for targeted cancer treatment....that option now may be off the table for me.  My blood levels were low again so...that means back to the hospital Wednesday morning before chemo for re-testing.  Crap!  Chemo is at 9:15 so that means we have to be at the hospital by 8:00...no sleeping in.  Dr. Keith is also going to lower the chemo dosage again...it's cumulative and I still don't seem to be handling it well.

Wednesday, blood tests...and up to chemo.  Neutrophil levels from 1.0 to over 6.0 again....chemo is a go!  Then off to Fort Langley for my Mistletoe injection, Vitamin C IV and LRHT treatments.  Thursday was not too bad a day....Friday I crashed.  Can't stop coughing and that brings on the gagging reflex and the LRHT treatment has to stop so I can get sick again...second time. No more treatments until after the CT scan.  The LRHT treatments can inflame where the cancer is and I could have a non-true scan result.  We are continuing with weekly IV and injections for now.  The ideas is to wait for the inflammation to settle before the scan is done.

Flat on my ass....I go from the bed to the couch forcing down water...too sick to eat.  I don't even want tea...just water to keep hydrated....dozing most of the day.  At 10:00 I take my sleeping pills and off back to bed for the night.  Wake up - repeat!  Rick is trying to force food down and I can take bits and bites but, that is all.  Don't want food!  By Tuesday I can lift my head without the room spinning and I can sit up part of the day before I have to lie down again.  Wednesday is even better.  Thursday off to Fort Langley for IV and injection...back home...over to the neighbors (haven't seen anyone in six weeks) for lemonade...yumm...back home to bed.  We ordered in supper and I ate every crumb on my plate...even sunflower seeds tasted good.  Man, I was hungry.  I really, really want to get back to normal!  My sinuses are starting to dry up...must have been the lower dosage of carboplatin and the coughing is less...bronchial congestion is starting to break up...I can see the end of the tunnel.

I will not do chemo again...nope...done.  It just takes too much out of me.  I don't feel normal...I don't feel good.  Barely get myself on my feet and...wham...another chemo...repeat six times.  Then it takes months to get any energy back just to do housework or anything.  I miss walking...I hate looking at my bike hanging in the garage not being used.  I hate looking at my craft room because it is not organized...I am tired of being on the couch.  I am tired of not going anywhere or doing anything because life revolves around Abbotsford Hospital.  I miss my friends!

And...we are in a holding pattern again.  The CT scan on the 18th, blood work on the 23rd, my final B12 injection on the 23rd, we see Dr. Keith on the 24th for test results and to discuss my options within the B.C. Cancer Agency and then Dr. Adrian on the 25th and we discuss my options outside of the BCCA.

Swimming weakly, but swimming.