tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23417297343253473682024-02-07T03:04:49.985-08:00Cat's CreationsI enjoy a number of crafts from beading jewelry, sewing, crochet, knitting through to card making. I have dabbled in digital scrapbooking but I have not yet worked on the paper kind....give me time!Catrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.comBlogger146125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-275261860067543322017-06-20T17:35:00.001-07:002017-06-20T17:35:47.735-07:00The end of a long journey<br />
Hi All, <br />
I am writing on behalf of my mom. It is with great sadness, I write to let everyone know my mom's journey came to an end on May 30th. She ended up in hospital with fluid on her lungs and despite all efforts, there was nothing more they could do for her. It had been a long hard battle. 4 years with cancer, and she fought all the way to the end. <br />
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Our family is honored that as I write this, she has had over 508,700 page views. She touched the lives of everyone on here. <br />
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We thank you for your words of encouragement, I know she had many devoted followers. People who may have also been experiencing their own battles, or families devastated by cancer. We plan to keep her blog open as a means of encouragement to those who need it, and as a reminder that despite your odds- keep fighting. I know her favorite thing was telling the Dr who gave her 2-8 months that she wasn't going anywhere. She didn't, not for 4 years and those were some of the best times we got with her. <br /><br />In loving memory of Cathy.. and she would have wanted me to tell everyone of you..just keep swimming! <br /><br />~RhiCatrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-7255204104912574892017-05-10T23:52:00.003-07:002017-05-10T23:52:53.531-07:00Now what?Still going for blood work every two days...my kidney levels are still up and down. All treatments have been cancelled and my oncologist says I may lose out on the program but, there are other options.<br />
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I am scheduled for a kidney biopsy on the 15th and I am being weaned off of Prednisone and down from 100mg per day to 50mg and now I am on 25mg per day. Restless legs were driving me crazy and my family doctor put me on Gabapentin....not working so, she doubled the dose and that seems to help a lot. I keep teasing that I am falling apart!<br />
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All tests and lab work should be in by the end of the month and I do my follow-ups with the Nephrologyst and my oncologist on the 31st.<br />
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Forgot to take my pills at 9:00 and I am wide awake and doing paperwork. Got everything done and I am hoping in another hour the pills kick in and I can go to bed. <br />
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Off to read my Kobo for awhile....swimming in the dark!!!<br />
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<br />Catrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-74016742084943874252017-04-25T20:09:00.001-07:002017-04-25T20:09:05.070-07:00Insoimnia is driving me nuts.....I am on so many pills right now....Meniers Disease, A-Fib, Prednisone etc., etc. and no sleep. It is like the old days when I was swinging from the trees on Dexamethasone. <br />
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Treatments were going really good. I had an awesone CT Scan result at the beginning of March...everything is stable and shrinking. Then I had a treatment on March 24th and I crashed. Major dizziness, nausea, weekness and super tired...no energy. I got a phone call from my oncologist at 10:00 telling me my kidneys had stopped filtering and I was to go back on high doses of Prednisone and get blood tests every day for 10 days. Not impressed!<br />
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I was scheduled for an ultrasound and it came back....no stones, no damage but, no one knows what is going on. One day my kidney level may be down and the next day it is through the roof again. I am now going every second day for bloodwork. <br />
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My treatments for April 7th and 21st were cancelled and we had tentatively scheduled the next one for May 5th. According to the doctor two days ago...that is not going to happen. He did reassure us that I am still on the program and when and if we get my kidneys functioning...treatments will resume.<br />
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So, my life consists of visiting the "vampires" every second day....not sleeping...so flipping tired and week all the time.<br />
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To add insult to injury...we got rear-ended in February. So now we are dealing with insurance companies,..car got fixed and I am off to therapy for my neck and right shoulder. When the seat belt retracted it wrenched the heck out of it. As if that wasn't enough some jacka*ss tried to break into our RV in the compound. Couldn't get passed the deadbolt...love old reliable RV's. But, they did destroy the door and a new one is on it's way. I have a dream catcher in the window in the door and the repair shop ordered a blank door so they can transfer my window to the new door. Wonderful people at Cottonwood RV.<br />
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No plans other than caming in between hospital labwork.<br />
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Just swimming!Catrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-59689352783953443172016-12-31T18:49:00.000-08:002016-12-31T18:49:34.022-08:00Reflections...It has been a year of surprises...some good...some not so good. <br />
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We started the year with a scare as they found two brain tumors and they stopped my maintenance chemo and it was on to full radiation with LRHT for ten treatments. It seemed to work as the cancer stopped growing and shrunk.<br />
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My oncologist sent me to another oncologist and an application for immunotherapy was approved and I started the new wonder drug Nivolumab....and...the cancer kept shrinking and shrinking and shrinking to the point the tumors are too small to measure.<br />
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It was a year of living a normal life for the first time in almost three years...travel, camping, visiting children...enjoying life. It was also a year of babies...in March our son and daughter-in-law presented us with our sixth grandchild, Clare Elizabeth and she is perfect. Our niece and nephew-in-law in Kamloops had a baby girl in October, Jade. Our nephew and niece-in-law in Chilliwack had a baby boy, Tate. But, sadly we lost him one month later. Our other nephew and niece-in-law had a baby girl, Amy and...we ended the year with our niece and nephew-in-law in Arizona had a baby boy, Asher.<br />
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It was a year of finding other people going through the same thing I am and on the same treatment who quickly became a friend (yes Lisa, that is you). It was being able to walk into the doctor's office on the 20th to see my old oncologist who gave me eight months three years ago and tell him, "Told you I wasn't going anywhere" and getting a smile from him. I will take every opportunity to turn a negative into a positive...helps with living.<br />
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The year started shaky but ended up on a very high note. I am eternally grateful for the love and support of my family and friends...who, without you I would not have made it this far...Rick, who loves to push my buttons but, who has my back...drives me everywhere, including crazy...sits through every treatment...travels with his Kobo because he never knows when I say, "Can we stop at Michael's".<br />
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I wish everyone a happy new year and may your next year be full of blessings....no matter what, keep swimming.Catrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-28751524406957486672016-12-11T10:08:00.000-08:002016-12-11T10:08:09.521-08:00Man, it's been awhile....Trust me...nothing major has happened. I have been going for blood work every second Wednesday...followed by treatment on the Friday. The only issue there is..it is getting harder and harder to find a vein. Last treatment it took four pokes and two of them hit a nerve...ouch! The nurse talked to my doctor and they are finally going to put a port in. I don't know what was up with Dr. Keith in the beginning as he doesn't like them. Well...he can deal with all the pokes!!! I am scheduled for surgery on the 14th and I can't wait...treatment on the 16th...no more pain!<br />
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It has been wonderful to have a "normal" life for a change...lots of camping...though we stay close to home. Meniers is under control...thanks to drugs. Babies, babies...nieces and nephews having babies...we have two girls and two boys. Sadly, we lost Tate as he was born two months and two days early. Complications and I now have another angel watching over me. I love being a great auntie!<br />
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Last CT scan came back with more awesome news. The brain cancer: One tumor gone...the other is still shrinking. Lung cancer: Both tumors are too small to measure. I am slowly relaxing about it and starting to believe.<br />
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Swimming merrily.<br />
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<br />Catrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-64027130739055734862016-09-15T15:04:00.002-07:002016-09-15T15:04:14.437-07:00Don't ever give up.....Today we had my monthly appointment with my oncologist and my CT Scan results from last Monday are in. The two tumors in my brain: The left one has shrunk even more in fact, barely able to see it. The right tumor can't be seen anymore at all. My left lungs are clear and the two tumors in my right lungs: One tumor is gone and the other barely registers. Everything else is clear. My oncologist says that the tumors are almost too small to register for the technicians....Yippee!!!!<br />
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I will admit...inwardly, I have been secretly down lately. I have been having headaches daily and I thought for sure the brain cancer had spread and...I have been coughing so much lately...I figured the same thing for my lungs. Nope...just issues with crappy eyesight is causing the headaches and probably early COPD is causing the lung problems.<br />
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And...I was feeling down because a friend of a friend was cancer free and I was jealous of her...not envious as I was happy for her results but, still jealous. I have been walking around since I was diagnosed believing I was terminal (because the doctors said I was) and I was only trying to extend my life span. It was hard celebrating her victory when I have been planning my death. <br />
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I had myself all prepared for bad news today....I was not ready for the good news but, boy did I need to hear this and to see it in black and white with the CT Scan report. I have been so scared to believe...even though I presented such a positive front...inside I have been shaking in my boots. I can now stick my tongue out at the doctors who gave me eight months and say..."See, I told you not to count me out"...that was March 2014...still here!<br />
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As to other issues...somewhere I picked up an inner ear virus and ended up with severe vertigo and nausea. A ear/nose/throat doctor confirmed it is Meniers Disease and am now on meds. I feel like a drug store with all my pills. But, it is working and that is all I care about. I still want to sleep all the time (heart pills cause that) and my energy level sucks but, I feel like I am living for a change. I hated the other chemo as it took almost the whole time to recover and I was back at treatment again. <br />
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With the Nivolumab I can have a life and we can get away camping...seeing our new granddaughter...visiting family and spending the day with my brother and sister-in-law on the lake in a boat...having supper with the family...feeling normal. I miss normal!!!!<br />
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So...we keep on with the treatments and see where the next six weeks takes me. I am so swimming!<br />
<br />Catrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-88226771807484792072016-07-26T13:21:00.000-07:002016-07-26T13:21:40.956-07:00Update.....I have had a few Nivolumab treatments and it is going fine so far. We had a CT scan at the sixth treatment mark and it showed no growth...in fact, the cancer is shrinking in half...yahoo!!!<br />
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I have lost my food aversion and I am eating regularly now...except chicken...still can't get that down. I lost 23 lbs. so far and, thanks to visiting Quesnel this weekend...I have gained five back and I am going to lose that!!! The dizziness, tiredness and weakness have let up and I am trying to walk each night again.<br />
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The only issue now the vertigo and vomiting. That usually hits a week after treatment. I went two treatments without it and I thought it was over...nope. We went camping and the last three days I was sick. Try packing up while the room is spinning...hubby wants to drain the tanks and I am still throwing up!!! It was interesting.<br />
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Nothing new to report....every second Wednesday is blood tests, Thursday is Dr. visit and Friday is treatment...then I get two weeks off until we do this again.<br />
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I am merrily swimming!!!Catrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-79056453039196464422016-04-24T14:12:00.000-07:002016-04-24T14:12:07.300-07:00Grab a coffee/tea/wine...this is a long one....So, back in February I was bouncing on pills and doing manic cleaning....finished my craft room, re-organized the pantry, spice cupboard and tupperware cupboard. Then I started on the filing cabinet and sorted everything into piles. Doing all of this being weaned off the pills...and I crashed. No energy at all...dead weight...on the couch....sleeping all the time....curled under a blanket. Everything is done except the family room has piles of stuff everywhere.<br />
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The end of February I woke up with a fever and it slowly climbed over the day. I know anything over 38 is dangerous and I am supposed to go to the ER right away. Just after supper it climbed to 39 and we headed out the door to Abbotsford ER. Got seen relatively soon (for Abby) and they took blood pressure and checked heart and sent me for xrays. Got xrays back...pneumonia...lovely! They moved me from the front door where the police and security outnumbered the patients (typical weekend) to a private cubicle and brought in the defibrillator....ok...I saw the episode on Emergency at VGH where the lady's heart was racing and they zapped her. Apparently so was mine! They gave me a couple of shots in the IV to slow it down....please, please work...don't want to get zapped! Phew...rate came down...oxygen levels were really low...blood pressure is really low...I now have something called "atrial fibrillation"...like I don't have enough to deal with!! I guess I am not going home....nope. 12 days later I get released and go home.<br />
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Heart meds not only slow your heart down but, also everything else. They have me on beta blockers...really low dosage because they can't put me on blood thinners (could cause a brain bleed). As for the brain...Dr. Hsu cancelled the stereotactic radiation....guess I no longer qualified for it. Good news though...the CT scan showed the brain cancer was shrinking and no new lesions. The lung cancer is still growing but, just a bit. We expected that as I haven't had chemo since the end of December.<br />
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Good news...February 15th I saw the new oncologist, Dr. Carol Mariano in New Westminster. She is lucky if she is 5 feet tall and weighs 90 lbs. She is a tiny, tiny dynamo!!! There is a new drug on the market called Nivolumab getting great results in studies and trials in the USA. Unlike chemo which attacks the cancer cells and kills them...along with the good cells....this drug is immunotherapy where it boosts your immune system to kill cancer cells on their own. Anyway...Health Canada approved it for use in Canada but...not paying for it. The drug company will fund some patient's treatment so...she is sending me for another MRI to see where we are at and then we will apply to the drug company to see if they will fund me.<br />
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March 23rd I had the new CT scan and it showed the lung cancer still growing but, again, just a bit. To me..what is a bit? To them...it means nothing. I remind myself that my cancer is still too small for biopsies so...I am still in good shape here. The brain cancer had shrunk in half and there are no new lesions...good to go.<br />
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Back to Dr. Mariano's office on the 29th and we see Dr. Noble as Dr. Mariano is out of town. She has her nerve! We fill out the paperwork and the application form for the drug company...and we start praying! We are back again on April 4th to see Dr. Noble and when I get to reception...she mentions my drug has arrived at the pharmacy. Eureeka....we have drugs!. Dr. Noble confirmed that I have been approved for the new drug and my treatments starts on April 8th. I have just had my second treatment on Friday and so far...no side effects. Still have nausea, weakness and tiredness from the heart meds...but, no reaction to Nivolumab.<br />
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We saw Dr. Mariano on Thursday and apparently Health Canada has now approved payment for the drug...again...eureeka! Now to just get it administered in Abbotsford (her new project) so we don't have to drive all the way into Royal Columbia every second Friday...Rick really hates paying bridge tolls.<br />
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Then...along comes Saturday....feeling crappy....hurts to pee....off to emergency. Worried I have a bladder infection and it could end up backing up into the kidneys...don't need that...Nivo is hard on the kidneys and they are monitoring them every treatment. I love Chilliwack hospital...in and out with a prescription for antibiotics in just over one hour! <br />
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So...feeling better....drugs are working (at least the antibiotics). Dr. Mariano says it will take about five treatments to see if they are working or not....fingers crossed!<br />
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Where I am at? I will be glad to get some energy back....it is a struggle to do anything. The hospital stay killed my mojo...my energy...my upbeat positive attitude. I cheated on a card I made for my granddaughter's 4th birthday (and boy do I feel guilty)!!! I have been barely treading water lately. However, getting the new drug...writing this posting has helped a great deal. At least I can paddle around in the water now. No matter how rough the past two months or so have been...I never gave up!<br />
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AND...I have lost 13 lbs....wouldn't recommend the journey but, will gladly accept the fallout! Now I have to make a card for Mother's Day...no cheating. It is in writing so...it has to be done now!<br />
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Just swimming....Catrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-29545167346711461492016-02-05T16:00:00.000-08:002016-02-05T16:00:48.129-08:00So.....What does one do when one wakes up at 1:00 a.m. and it feels like I had a shot of Red Bull and can't sleep....I go to the craft room and usually surf the internet. Last night I decided to gut and de-stash and re-organize everything including temporary labels...I don't have as much as I was worried I have and what I do have is now organized and labelled and so much easier. Now I know what I have and can craft better. I will replace the temporary labels with chalkboard ones later after everything is done and finalized....still may shift things around.<br />
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This is still the current mess. I have to clean some of the garbage up and figure out the last little stuff on the table. <br />
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Love, love my new paper shelves...color coded and everything. Left side is card stock...right side is patterned paper.<br />
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I just need to sort and organize the far right which is all my beading supplies.<br />
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Labelled.....<br />
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Labelled....<br />
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I adore this dresser from Ikea...it hold my embossing folders....dies....unmounted stamps, acrylic inks and the bottom left is deep enough for file folders.<br />
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The punches and stamps on the floor will be up for sale on Frazer Valley Craft Sight<br />
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I have to format this flipping computer as something went wrong when I went to Windows 10 and back to 8.1 cuz half my stuff was misiing....going for a clean install up to Windows 10 and try again.<br />
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Merrily swimming!<br />
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Off to finish this messCatrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-33585632340049253062016-02-04T02:39:00.001-08:002016-02-04T02:39:22.913-08:00Head Shaving Party....Hair here, hair there...hair everywhere. Calling all friends...wine/cheese/shaver!<br />
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My friends Jan, Gillian, Susan and Shannon came as friends do...Rhian brought out her razer...of course...a simple head shaving wasn't enough....she had to give her mother a mohawk!!!<br />
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Streamlined swimming now....<br />
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<br />Catrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-40158744418463450402016-02-04T02:30:00.001-08:002016-02-04T02:30:47.317-08:00I feel like Harry Potter....Do you believe in spirits? I sure do. I lost my friend Jose to cancer...actually, she beat the damned cancer and ended up with Lou Gehrig's disease. I could feel her at my right shoulder but, no longer so...I am assuming she made the next leg of her journey.<br />
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I lost my dad April Fool's day last year (God can't believe it is almost a year). His hand has been on my left shoulder and I can feel actual pressure. Dad's hand has never left me and I know he is right by my side. <br />
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Patrick and Don...Rick's two brothers we lost from cancer. I never felt Patrick at all and I believe he just kept on going. Don is here. When I got my original diagnosis I could feel Don. I miss that guy. We used to have some really good battles...he loved to push my buttons and I loved to push his...man we would get into some heated arguments! Anyway, I feel him around me all the time. He and Val gave me a candle for my 60th birthday. When Don is strongest I will light the candle and enjoy the peace it brings to me.<br />
<br />
When I got the diagnosis of brain cancer and I blogged about it...I broke down....my mom came and is at my right side. My brother Butch is here too....I could feel him hugging me from behind. That day was pretty rough but, I could so feel dad, mom and Butch surrounding me and holding me as I cried it all out.<br />
<br />
So, like I said....I feel like Harry Potter who had his parents etc. at the end of the movie. I find it such comfort and peace to feel my spirits.<br />
<br />
Swimming nicely, thanksCatrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-63770212716881993672016-01-24T18:51:00.004-08:002016-01-24T18:51:55.807-08:00Houston....we have a hiccup!!!Saw my chemo oncologist and we are no longer stable in the lungs. Some tumors in the right lung are growing larger and he has taken me off chemotherapy for the moment....as it is no longer working.<br />
<br />
He is sending me to New Westminster to see another oncologist there, Dr. Carol Mariano. Apparently there is a new drug on the market (nivolumab) that has been approved for use in Canada....of course, our government is not paying for it. The drug company is providing it for free in some cases....I may not qualify because of the brain cancer. All they can do is say yes or no!<br />
<br />
He is also forwarding for the targeted treatment (even though my cancer does no qualify me) and also to the P.O.G. program. All...based on my brain cancer...it could disqualify me across the board. The issue with the targeted and the genetic testing is my cancer tumors in the lungs are too small and they require five biopsies.<br />
<br />
So...where does that leave me? Waiting for the cancer to grow large enough for the biopsies. Finishing my last radiation and LRHT tomorrow....waiting for the MRI on February 5th...see Dr. Mariano on the 15th.<br />
<br />
As for the brain cancer....all I can do is hope that the radiation nuked them and there are no more tumors hiding so I can get the pin-point one shot radiation in Vancouver.<br />
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It was a rough week as my daughter Rhiann came to visit and go to all the appointments with me...rough time for her. She is strong...she has my genes.<br />
<br />
I am swimming....keeping busy....crafting....living.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Catrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-58975783008763074102016-01-12T19:56:00.003-08:002016-01-12T19:56:55.007-08:00May the force be with me....Today was day one of ten days of radiation....going to nuke these puppies right out of my head. I had a very positive meeting with my naturopathic oncologist. We went over the CT results and good news...the two lesions are no where near my cortex so...my functions will not be impaired (okay, quit laughing...I am not already impaired).<br />
<br />
We are putting the LRHT treatments on hold for my lungs and nailing my brain cancer with five of them. Dr. Parma says my lungs are stable enough to hold off and...they are already "primed" to receive the treatments so...apparently, they will get residual affects from the brain treatment....two this week, two next week and the last one on the final day.<br />
<br />
Not feeling too bad...tired. The swelling in my head doesn't seem to be going down fast enough... trouble with my vision...floaters everywhere. Seems like a lot of pressure pressing on my eyes and the headaches are settling down to just aches but, the doctor increased my Dexamethazone to three a day hoping to get this taken care of.<br />
<br />
So...my Buck Rogers ray gun is up and running and I am merrily swimming.<br />
<br />Catrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-73437402374058460482016-01-09T15:26:00.001-08:002016-01-09T15:26:07.787-08:00Hello....<br />
Hang onto your hats...it's going to be a bumpy ride!<br />
<br />
<br />
I had been having issues with my vision for awhile and I attributed it to chemo as...my vision craps out right after chemo and sucks for about two weeks. I had my eyes examined by a specialist on December 10th and he couldn't find anything wrong. Then we went on the cruise...no chemo for six week and my vision was great...I could see everything without my vision glasses. On the cruise I had started to develop migraines....thought it was vertigo induced migraines caused by the motion of the ship. One day we were sitting in a restaurant in Cozumel and I tried to read the menu. The words were all over the page and I couldn't make out what they said...Rick had to tell me what was on the menu. After lunch, we went back to the cruise ship...popped some Tylenol, had a nap and everything was fine.<br />
<br />
Christmas Eve I was reading my tablet and it started again...I knew the letters in the words but, just couldn't make the connections. When I saw Dr. Keith before my chemo on the 30th I mentioned it to him and he scheduled a CT Scan for January 5th and set up an appointment with the radiation oncologist, Dr. Hsu. While we were waiting for the results, Rick was driving me into town last Thursday and the "halos" of the migraines started up and I couldn't see half the road signs...I mean, one side was a bit blurry but the other side of it was...just not there!<br />
<br />
We got the results yesterday. Dr. Hsu walked into the room and I said, "Still here!". He was quite surprised and pleased to see me (I mean, I had beat his time frame), I told him my friend said to tell him I do not have an expiration date stamped on my ass. He asked me if I knew why I was there and I said, "CT results". He said, "Yes. What do you think?" I took one look at his face and I knew...my world just dropped through the floor...I said, "cancer in the brain" and he said, Yes".<br />
<br />
I have developed two lesions in my brain, one on each side. Hello, the cancer in my lungs is still stable but..... I knew already that there was a possibility of this happening as lung cancer almost always spreads to the brain...and, I am Stage 4 metastatic. <br />
<br />
Radiation right away...fourteen treatments and I will lose my pretty silver hair again. He is scheduling an MRI as he wants to see exactly how many lesions there are...the CT shows two (one the size of a nickel and the other the size of a quarter). The treatments will be done in Abbotsford but, there is one treatment he wants done and his machine is only in Vancouver. If there are more than the two and...maybe one tiny one...he can do the second radiation treatment. <br />
<br />
I asked Dr. Hsu how much time I had....he said, "You don't have an expiry date". I told him there were things I had to do and things I needed to do for my kids and grandkids and I needed to know how much time I had...he said one year but, with you....could be longer.<br />
<br />
Then I asked him when my hair was going to fall out...he was reluctant to say...hello, I am not going to fall apart because my hair is going...I will rock the bald! I don't want to find it all over my counter, on my pillow...in my food. He said by the end of January....head shaving party!<br />
<br />
So...we are back on the rough road again. Yesterday was hell - telling all the kids and family and close friends...if I missed you personally...it's not because you aren't important to me...just was too much! I couldn't find my footing...was alternating from numb to terror and getting lost in the middle with nothing to hang onto...I was becoming overwhelmed with all the I things I was going to miss out on doing...projects, learning...the new stuff I bought for the craft room. I called Haroldine and cancelled my order for stuff...Rick lost it and came up behind me while I was on the phone...put his arms around me and pleaded for me not to give up. I cancelled the cancel! I had a beautiful conversation with Haroldine and I am eternally grateful.<br />
<br />
He took the dog for a walk and the walls closed in on my...panic set in and i couldn't think of anything but to grab the phone and...call Marj....my friend...I love you to the moon and back...you gave me back my courage and strength...then the doorbell rang and my step-sister and brother-in-law (Judy and Gord) showed up and gave me what else I needed...hugs, two bottles of wine and a taste of normalcy and I got "me" back. My mojo, my strength, my determination.<br />
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I won't tell you I am not terrified...I won't tell you I am not looking forward to this at all. After being stable for so long...it was a real kick in the teeth.<br />
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I am not going to concentrate on the negative...I am not going to focus on what I will never do but, on what I will be able to do. I am going to live as much as I can...I am going to love my kids and grandkids as much as I can. I am going to fight as long as as hard as I can. I was going through my notepad on my phone and found this that I had saved ages ago and haven't got around into my chemo book: <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Hope is powerful. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Hope can be your everything when it feels like you have nothing.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Even if all signs are pointing to demise, have a little hope.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It can be your light at the end of whatever tunnel you are going through.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
So, my children...I adore you...I love all five of you and my five and tidbit grandchildren to the mood and back...hang on to this...I am!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Then there is Dory...she landed in my Christmas stocking this year. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
There are two links with this...play them both and hold on with me. I feel every one of you in the water with me swimming...I feel the love coming my way and it gives me courage and strength.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Just keep swimming...for I am!</div>
Catrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-17057916029639548702015-12-16T23:38:00.002-08:002015-12-16T23:38:59.322-08:00Update.....<span style="font-size: small;">Had an awesome time on the cruise and did not want to come home. I miss having a bar tender follow me around the ship from lounge to lounge (well...it seemed like he was my personal bar tender) making sure I had the day's special drink in my hand. I miss having my bed made in the morning and turned down at night with chocolates on my pillow...I miss having my meals cooked for me. I miss the warmth!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">We had a blast in Vegas too....friends got a surprise when his sister and hubby showed up on their doorstep at midnight...they haven't seen each other for 24 years...now we have two more friends in the mix. It was a bit cool but sunny and we saw the usual sights.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Back to the grind...I like the grind...it means I am alive! Xrays and lab reports all state "no change" and I am still stable. Had chemo a week Wednesday and I have been sleeping on the couch ever since. Rick came down with a horrible cough and chest cold and...with my neutrophils being so low...I can't afford to take the risk of getting what he has. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">My throat was sore and scratchy and I felt like I was coming down with it but, with all the mega vitamin C IV's I get...I have been hanging in there. I did triple the Echinacea and so far I have been fine...just the usual wiped out. Energy levels starting to perk up again. I guess Rick has been feeling better too as the Christmas tree is now up and he "sprinkled" decorations around the house. I didn't bother putting a tree up in the family room (my domain)...I will just light candles!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">For the first time since I was diagnosed and we ended up on this merry-go-round...I have nothing else to say! I can't believe I have gotten to the point where I am stable and doing fine...especially with Stage 4 lung cancer! I have some heavy-duty guardian angels up there pulling for me and I know God has my back....</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">Swimming to Christmas carols....</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
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<br />Catrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-35192380386558888252015-11-11T22:58:00.001-08:002015-11-11T22:58:55.651-08:00Not quite....Was on my way out of what I thought was my last chemo for awhile and the nurse tells me they have me scheduled for chemo on the 17th...hello, I will be on a cruise ship! Then she said they could reschedule it for the 24th...hello, I am going to Las Vegas! Left a couple of messages for the chemo nurse and for Dr. Keith to call me back but, no one did.<br />
<br />
So...Monday morning we got up early and drove to the hospital to see what was going on. Apparently, it was up to Dr. Keith...something about delayed chemo? Anyway, they were surprised that no one had gotten back to me and they would definitely find out what was going on and call me.<br />
<br />
As we were waiting for the elevator, Dr. Keith got off...walked past...turned around and came back asking if I was comfortable talking in the hallway...you bet! I had it wrong...chemo is ongoing...treatment every three weeks....as long as I keep responding.<br />
<br />
I guess the last CT scan ended up resulting with me still stable and continuing with Pemetrexed every three weeks on a maintenance plan...I really like the words "stable" and "maintenance"! We talked about the confusion with the dates and that we booked our vacation. He said it was okay to take a break...so...tomorrow we fly to Fort Lauderdale for a 7-day Caribbean cruise...we get back on the 24th and off to Las Vegas on the 29th to December 3rd. When we get back it is xrays and labs and chemo on December 9th.<br />
<br />
I can't wait to sit on a sandy beach drinking something cold and frosty with my feet up...no IV's in sight...no chemo...no feeling crappy...normal...just plain old normal!<br />
<br />
Looking forward to where I will be swimming.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Catrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-65600224781622503312015-10-27T22:52:00.000-07:002015-10-27T22:52:34.277-07:00It's a wrap!!!Tomorrow is my last chemo treatment in this round of six. It was supposed to be last Wednesday but, I ended up with a stupid Diverticulitis attack and landed on anti-biotics Cypro and Flagyl...heavy duty drugs...not good with chemo.<br />
<br />
So, tomorrow morning is chemo...right after lunch is LRHT and then we play the waiting game again. The CT scans keep showing some spots gone, some spots micro larger and some spots stable. Not too sure where we are going from here but, will have consults with doctors (chemo and naturopath) to see what our game plan is.<br />
<br />
In the meantime...I am going to get my energy level back and head off on our cruise on the 12th. We had to miss the Panama cruise and it was our idea...I have earned this! I want "normal" for awhile.<br />
<br />
Besides...I need to celebrate. The radiation oncologist gave me two years....still here! The chemo oncologist gave me four months with no treatment to eight months with...still here! You bet I am still here!<br />
<br />
Swimming, diving, blowing bubbles...Catrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-12592083999910628962015-10-07T22:39:00.003-07:002015-10-07T22:39:45.629-07:00It's Been Awhile....Been busy with life and doing "normal" things like camping, visiting with #2 son and daughter-in-law (who are expecting their first child) doing touristy things...finally getting to Red Lobster...like I said...normal things.<br />
<br />
I have had three more chemo treatments followed by the LRHT's with the final one for this round scheduled for October 21st. Each one seemed to be worse than the one before...apparently the side effects compound. This last one has taken a week to get the vertigo to stop...the world was spinning so bad I was nauseous. Thankfully, today is the start of getting some energy back and maybe I will get out of my pajamas tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Got the CT scan results from September...cluster of nodules and patchy opacification in the left lower lobe seems to be gone with only scarring in the area now. Partial collapse of my left lung...Dr. Keith says it has been like that since radiation last year. Some nodules have enlarged and some have stayed stable. Good news and bad news...a real mix. I have another scan scheduled for the 16th to see what, if any, changes there are from that report. I guess that result will dictate the direction we go with the chemo in the future. The doctors caution me that the increase in size is millimeters...tiny, tiny growth...and not to get too worked up right now about the changes. Not too happy with that as I had been stable for so many months.<br />
<br />
Did the bank account up today and paid all the bills. We have been using one credit card for my treatments and paying it off with my RRSP's. However...the funds are running out and not enough to pay off the card in full...plus, I do have enough left in savings to cover the 21st...but, that is it. I may have enough for another round in my RRSP's....I will know more when I get my next statement. Each round so far has consisted of six chemo treatments with LRHT's on day 1, day 3 and day 5. Each LRHT treatment costs $501.00 and the supplements run around $600.00...basically, $10,000.00 for each round. <br />
<br />
One other option is a reverse mortgage on the house but, that leaves Rick in debt. I don't know how other people are doing it. One man has had over 38 full-body treatments at $1,500.00 each. To be honest...I am now scared and trying not to let it get to me. I even googled GoFundMe the other day to see about it...but, I just can't ask family and friends. I can't believe our federal government will not cover any of this. BC Medical covers the chemo but, I have to pay for any prescriptions...they do not cover anything of the naturopathic treatments. I get to claim the treatments (not the suppliments) on my tax return...big deal! I guess that is their way of population control...yeehaw!<br />
<br />
So...I will get the CT scan results and sit down with my chemo oncologist and see what my options are...then I will sit down with my naturopath oncologist and see what my options are. <br />
<br />
I am going to take some more "normal" time and...who knows...maybe I will strike it big in Vegas at the end of November (just couldn't pass up the trip...$377 US funds...for two people, three nights, four days including airfare) and our 7-day Caribbean cruise just before that.<br />
<br />
So...no matter how scared I am or get...I am swimming strongly...head above water...singing "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swim, swim. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Catrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-1069760050195336382015-08-05T20:24:00.000-07:002015-08-05T20:24:12.528-07:00Maintaining....I am hanging in there. Had my first "maintenance" chemo and no side effects at all...awesome. Each chemo is followed by LRHT chemo day (day 1) and then again on day 3 and day 5....no nausea. I made it to my niece's wedding in Kamloops and then up to Quesnel to visit family and then we had another wedding (the summer of weddings...four of them!)<br />
<br />
Second chemo was last Wednesday...I was fine until Friday and then I started to crap out....tired, tired, tired....all I wanted to do was to sleep. I was like that until Monday afternoon and then I started to get some energy back. Monday night was pot luck at our complex and I wasn't too sure if I was going to make it or not but, I did and even walked that night. I did a "no no"...it was a corn roast...there was so much corn on the cob there...I had to have one...just a little one...no issues!!! Rick was so sure it would cause an issue with my diverticulitis but, nope...mind you...I am not going to push the issue either. But it was sooo goooddd....it has been over three years since I had one and I really, really miss BBQ'd corn on the cob!<br />
<br />
I saw the naturopath today and my blood levels are all good. My liver and kidneys are taking a beating with the chemo but...hanging in there. My tumor markers are down again...yeehaw! I am scheduled for a CT scan on September 8th so...no LRHT other than chemo day 1. The LRHT causes inflammation and it can skew the scan....so...IV's only for day 3 and day 5. That's okay...my pocket book can take the rest!<br />
<br />
"Once you choose hope, anything is possible" - Christopher Reeve<br />
<br />
Swimming merrily.Catrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-69648470084337730732015-06-26T15:21:00.001-07:002015-06-26T15:21:32.881-07:00And we are off.....Had the CT scan and while I was waiting for them to release me, I got a visit from the nurse with a paper of information. Apparently, my kidney levels dropped below the threshold of 60 and since I had the CT scan I need repeat blood work in 48 hours. <br />
<br />
Went to the family doctor on the 23rd for my B12 shot and while I was there I asked about my blood levels and they were 61...lots better. I knew the chemo was going to be rough on my kidneys but, they are working fine and I am drinking lots of fluids so...it was not something I was overly concerned about.<br />
<br />
I also asked about the CT scan results and got a copy printed off for me. I got knocked flat...it was not news I was expecting or wanted to read about. I will admit to feeling a bit depressed and I didn't want to talk to anyone or see anyone...I sure didn't tell Rick about it. Yes, the cancer seems to be stable...yes, one of the tumors shrunk...but, there was mention of new spots. As usual, the technician who reads these things states that spreading cancer can't be ruled out. At least, there is still no cancer anywhere else...confined to my lungs.<br />
<br />
Saw Dr. Keith (oncologist) on the 24th and we went over the CT results. He gave the impression that this was all good news which brought my mood up considerably. Bilateral lung nodules (cancer spots) not significantly changed or slightly smaller. The largest nodule in my left lung has shrunk from 7mm to 4mm. I think that is good news, don't you? The new spots he is attributing to a lung infection. I picked up a cold at the beginning of May and I have been unable to shake the coughing etc. No antibiotics as my system seems to be fighting it off my itself...no new spots...no new cancer! I am stable and the big spot is shrinking...no mention of the smaller spot.<br />
<br />
So...we are doing another round of six treatments of chemo....no Carboplatin...only Pemetrexed...no anti-nausea drugs. Dr. Keith thinks I should handle the new chemo treatment a lot easier. We are starting at 80% dosage and see how I respond from there. We talked about targeted cancer treatment but, he doesn't think I am bad enough for that yet...nor, the drug trials. Good news! The new treatment sheet he gave me says, "This treatment is being given to keep the cancer from progressing, once it has been successfully controlled with an initial chemotherapy treatment". Yeehaw!!!<br />
<br />
On the 25th I saw my replacement naturopath oncologist (Dr. Lindsay Adrian)...I like her! We went over the CT scan results and reading them from her perspective....the report talks about the cancer being stable...and oh by the way, it shrunk almost in half. Again, yeehaw!!! She prescribed a high dose of Echinacea to combat the lung infection and we continue the treatments as usual. Each time I have a chemo treatment I go in that day for LRHT and again on day 3 and day 5. I am back drinking Chaga tea...haven't been feeling very good up to now and not able to drink even normal tea. At least my dad is happy now!<br />
<br />
My summer is back on hold again...we are missing a wedding this weekend because I am still not up to traveling....the chemo treatments won't affect the next two weddings but, we will have to see the calendar to find out about the fourth one.<br />
<br />
So...good news for a change! Swimming in large circles, doing back flips and belly flops!Catrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-22090691016626328842015-06-12T13:55:00.000-07:002015-06-12T13:55:13.542-07:00Upright.....Met with Dr. Parma (naturopath) to go over treatment results etc. He is taking a 6-month sabbatical to work on a book he is hoping to release and to collate the cancer study results he is doing, which are finished in June. So, I get handed off to another doctor there. Diane's doctor is back from maternity leave so I will transfer to her. Gonna miss Dr. Parma.... When I see Dr. Keith (oncologist) I am to ask for my "alk" and "egfr" results from the lung biopsy.<br />
<br />
We met with Dr. Keith on June 1st and he was in much better spirits...more positive. I asked for the lung biopsy results and he said they were "negative". Apparently, that means that I am not a good candidate for targeted cancer treatment....that option now may be off the table for me. My blood levels were low again so...that means back to the hospital Wednesday morning before chemo for re-testing. Crap! Chemo is at 9:15 so that means we have to be at the hospital by 8:00...no sleeping in. Dr. Keith is also going to lower the chemo dosage again...it's cumulative and I still don't seem to be handling it well.<br />
<br />
Wednesday, blood tests...and up to chemo. Neutrophil levels from 1.0 to over 6.0 again....chemo is a go! Then off to Fort Langley for my Mistletoe injection, Vitamin C IV and LRHT treatments. Thursday was not too bad a day....Friday I crashed. Can't stop coughing and that brings on the gagging reflex and the LRHT treatment has to stop so I can get sick again...second time. No more treatments until after the CT scan. The LRHT treatments can inflame where the cancer is and I could have a non-true scan result. We are continuing with weekly IV and injections for now. The ideas is to wait for the inflammation to settle before the scan is done.<br />
<br />
Flat on my ass....I go from the bed to the couch forcing down water...too sick to eat. I don't even want tea...just water to keep hydrated....dozing most of the day. At 10:00 I take my sleeping pills and off back to bed for the night. Wake up - repeat! Rick is trying to force food down and I can take bits and bites but, that is all. Don't want food! By Tuesday I can lift my head without the room spinning and I can sit up part of the day before I have to lie down again. Wednesday is even better. Thursday off to Fort Langley for IV and injection...back home...over to the neighbors (haven't seen anyone in six weeks) for lemonade...yumm...back home to bed. We ordered in supper and I ate every crumb on my plate...even sunflower seeds tasted good. Man, I was hungry. I really, really want to get back to normal! My sinuses are starting to dry up...must have been the lower dosage of carboplatin and the coughing is less...bronchial congestion is starting to break up...I can see the end of the tunnel.<br />
<br />
I will not do chemo again...nope...done. It just takes too much out of me. I don't feel normal...I don't feel good. Barely get myself on my feet and...wham...another chemo...repeat six times. Then it takes months to get any energy back just to do housework or anything. I miss walking...I hate looking at my bike hanging in the garage not being used. I hate looking at my craft room because it is not organized...I am tired of being on the couch. I am tired of not going anywhere or doing anything because life revolves around Abbotsford Hospital. I miss my friends!<br />
<br />
And...we are in a holding pattern again. The CT scan on the 18th, blood work on the 23rd, my final B12 injection on the 23rd, we see Dr. Keith on the 24th for test results and to discuss my options within the B.C. Cancer Agency and then Dr. Adrian on the 25th and we discuss my options outside of the BCCA.<br />
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Swimming weakly, but swimming.<br />
<br />Catrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-86304154086621250032015-05-23T22:27:00.003-07:002015-05-23T22:27:36.129-07:00Alrighty then.....Went to Quesnel for dad's funeral...it was really touching and he would have liked it...right down to the honor guard from the Legion (dad was a vet). On the drive there I was feeling pretty down and one thought was that I would not be getting a birthday card this year.<br />
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Later that night...the family and close friends were gathered around in dad's "man cave" toasting him and reminiscing about dad and just being together. My stepsisters and I were going through some of dad's photos...seeing which ones we wanted and...there was an envelope with my name written on it.<br />
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I opened up the envelope and it was a signed birthday card from dad and my stepmom. I guess sometime ago he couldn't find the card and sent me another one. Later on, this one showed up and he put it away...so...I got my birthday card from him this year after all!! I had a good cry when I officially opened it up on my birthday and it is now on my bookshelf where I can see it all the time.<br />
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Something else we found.....dad had written out the words to Amazing Grace and I think it was my niece who found it and a last minute change to his funeral where we had Amazing Grace played...I wish I had known ahead of time...it would have been more poignant I think...mind you I was a mess to begin with that day and it could have made it worse for me.<br />
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So....chemo....fourth one at 100% and I was flat on my back. First time in a year that I ended up being sick to my stomach too...not impressed. Had the treatment on Wednesday...then over to Fort Langley for the LRHT treatment. Back to Fort Langley on the Friday....rough day...and then again on the Monday. All I wanted to do was sleep! I go to bed...stay in bed until noon...go back to bed again at 11:00...sleep until noon....I did this for almost two weeks. Seems like I never got my energy up and back to the hospital on the Monday for blood work and the meeting with Dr. Keith. My neutrophils were just over 1.0 and we need them over 2.0 before he will consider another chemo treatment. <br />
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He really needs to work on his bedside manner...I have nicknamed him "Dr. Doom & Gloom"....nothing positive from him....talked about quality of care etc. like I am going to die in the next couple of days and there was no point in having chemo....then..."If it was me...I would have the fifth treatment". Like come on! Where is the positive attitude here? Xrays show the cancer is stable right now...no changes...awesome! I walked away so down and depressed I had a really, really hard time finding anything to feel positive about...almost made me want to give up. On top of that...my sinuses are going nuts from the chemo and constantly draining which makes me cough which makes my sinuses drain...vicious circle...give me a break!<br />
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We are also lowering the dosage back to 80%. I hate this...I hate cutting back the dosage because I feel I am letting myself down and not giving myself the best chance to fight the cancer. <br />
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Back to the hospital on Wednesday for blood work and my levels have gone from 1 point something to over 8...wicked! Dr. Parma (naturopath) says this is rare for someone to bounce back so strongly. Yeah...on paper it says I am doing so good but, my energy levels are tanking....I haven't walked in ages...I can't seem to be upright without almost passing out. Almost three weeks without walking...feeling too crappy to drink Chaga tea and feeling guilty because I am not drinking it...not wanting to eat....upside is losing weight. I started way overweight for my height and age group anyway so...lots of room there to do so!<br />
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Do the fifth chemo and off to Fort Langley where Kim is my nurse...God bless her...she is so bubbly and upbeat with hugs that my downness (who cares if it is not a word) goes away and my mood is up, up, up. Also, I find on the internet, "I don't know how my story will end, but nowhere in my text will it ever read, <b><i>I gave up</i></b>"....just what I need. Friday and Tuesday back to Fort Langley for LRHT treatments.<br />
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I am tired...sleepy...drained and...in just over a week I am upright! I made it out the door today for the first time (other than chemo and treatments) in almost two months to have coffee and cookies with my friends....I even made two cards yesterday!!! We have a week and a half to go until my last treatment and then the CT Scan to see where we are at...and I feel good...I may even get out for a walk. On top of that...I see my daughter and SIL tomorrow for a visit on their way to the island to pick up the kiddies...then back here on Friday for the weekend and I get my grandkids fix...yippee!<br />
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Das it....swimming....<br />
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<br />Catrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-55951711733358782752015-04-08T13:16:00.004-07:002015-04-08T13:16:57.689-07:00Updates....Ok...first round of chemo is going good. I have had little to no side effects (I even still have hair)...a bit of nausea but, I am on top of it.<br />
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We had our meeting with the Naturopath oncologist Dr. Parma and we are going ahead with the treatments at the same time as chemo. So...on chemo days I go to the hospital to get my chemo meds and then over to Fort Langley for intravenous vitamin C and Loco-regional Hyperthermia treatment (LRHT). One can find the information on the treatment <a href="http://www.integratedhealthclinic.com/_cancercare/cancerCare.htm">here</a>. I return on day three and day five for repeat treatments. So far so good...the last CT scan shows the cancer is stable.<br />
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They also offer total body heat treatment and I had that one on Thursday. One lies in a "tent" with one's head sticking out and the body temperature is raised to fever pitch (simplistic description). It took just over four hours for the temperature to be raised up...leveleled and then lowered. I bought an IPOD shuffle and had eleven Garth Brooks albums loaded so...I was good. IT WAS HOT! The only thing uncovered was my head....socks, gloves, arms...everything else covered. When ones comes out one is super weak and tired. I think I slept the rest of the day and then Friday all hell broke loose!<br />
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Fours kids, three grandchildren and two spare dogs came home for Easter. Then...throw in one mother-in-law, nephew and fiance and we were crowded. But...it was fun cuddling...easter egg hunt...early birthday gifts.<br />
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Today....I am doing laundry, getting ready to leave tomorrow for the funeral. Not looking forward to it but, I am swimming...and yes, dad, drinking my tea.<br />
<br />Catrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-1355811816473965802015-04-08T11:46:00.000-07:002015-04-08T11:46:33.803-07:00Irish Lament.....April Fool's Day...who but my father would choose that day to die! I talked to him on Monday and everything was fine....Wednesday, he was gone.<br />
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It still doesn't seem real. I know I am leaving tomorrow to go to the funeral....I still expect him to be there waving at me from his doorstep or sitting in his gazebo with the heater going in the middle of winter. His silence will echo when I walk into the house and...the adult part of me is prepared but the little girl part of me is not.<br />
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We did not have an easy relationship...lots of baggage and so many scars but, we managed to muddle our way into a father/daughter relationship late in life that I get to treasure. I have good memories that take the sting out of the bad and I have no regrets. <br />
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He was so adamant that I drink Chaga mushroom tea and that it would cure my cancer. His determination and love alone would be powerful enough to do that. I drink my tea each day and I think of him standing on my left side with his hand on my shoulder...way to go, kiddo....keep drinking.<br />
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<br />Catrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2341729734325347368.post-199023784956975702015-03-01T23:11:00.001-08:002015-03-01T23:11:03.916-08:00Comment issuesOk so I've realized I have a problem. I have been told that a reader was unable to leave comments on my blog. I don't know if this is due to her browser settings, but once she clicked 'publish' the comment disappeared. I do my best to reply to all comments left on my blog, so please don't take offense that I haven't replied you - I just didn't know there was a problem. I have changed the settings to a "popup window" so, hopefully that fixes the issue.<br />
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<br />Catrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09641785432899840981noreply@blogger.com2