Here we go again....

Saw the chemo oncologist on Wednesday...

Good news...the cancer does not appear to be in my bones or anywhere else.  The bone scan came back clear and my kidneys are healthy There is no mention of either original tumor in any reports which leads the doctor to believe the two original tumors are gone. 

Bad news..the cancer has spread to both lungs and is metastatic....i.e. not curable.  The CT report lists "multiple" spots so...no exact figure other than about two largest ones...one is around 7mm and the other is 9mm.  The doctor figures the new spots may have mutated and become resistant to the chemo I was taking.

So...my battle now is to see how long I can live.  If I do nothing...the doctor figures four months.  If I fight back...it could be anywhere from ten months or longer.   


I am fighting back!  This is classed as "first line" treatment.  If that doesn't work, I have a "second line" treatment option which would be drug trials if I want to go that route. 

The new chemotherapy starts in seven to eight days...just waiting for an appointment to be set up.  I am to take folic acid every day and I have to get a B12 shot while I am waiting.  No radiation unless any of the spots becomes "troublesome"....whatever that means. My beautiful curls are going to go away again....I was getting used to having hair!  One good thing is I don't have to take the three pills that cost $120.00!

Rick...does well during the day but, holds me and cries in the dark.  Him I am worried about the most.  I carried him through his brother Pat dying...I carried him through Mike having the stroke and I carried him through Don and his lost battle with cancer.  He is not strong but, that is okay - I am.

Me...numb to leaking.  I have to fight the "why bother" when I think of doing something....like finishing my craft room or making a dentist appointment or making decisions on what color to paint the house etc.  This is still new to me and I am trying to figure out how to cope.

So...I am treading water waiting to get my balance before I take off swimming.  I feel each and every one of my friends and family in the water with me holding me up.