Don't ever give up.....

Today we had my monthly appointment with my oncologist and my CT Scan results from last Monday are in. The two tumors in my brain:  The left one has shrunk even more in fact, barely able to see it.  The right tumor can't be seen anymore at all.  My left lungs are clear and the two tumors in my right lungs:  One tumor is gone and the other barely registers.  Everything else is clear.  My oncologist says that the tumors are almost too small to register for the technicians....Yippee!!!!

I will admit...inwardly, I have been secretly down lately.  I have been having headaches daily and I thought for sure the brain cancer had spread and...I have been coughing so much lately...I figured the same thing for my lungs.  Nope...just issues with crappy eyesight is causing the headaches and probably early COPD is causing the lung problems.

And...I was feeling down because a friend of a friend was cancer free and I was jealous of her...not envious as I was happy for her results but, still jealous.  I have been walking around since I was diagnosed believing I was terminal (because the doctors said I was) and I was only trying to extend my life span.  It was hard celebrating her victory when I have been planning my death. 

I had myself all prepared for bad news today....I was not ready for the good news but, boy did I need to hear this and to see it in black and white with the CT Scan report.  I have been so scared to believe...even though I presented such a positive front...inside I have been shaking in my boots.  I can now stick my tongue out at the doctors who gave me eight months and say..."See, I told you not to count me out"...that was March 2014...still here!

As to other issues...somewhere I picked up an inner ear virus and ended up with severe vertigo and nausea.  A ear/nose/throat doctor confirmed it is Meniers Disease and am now on meds.  I feel like a drug store with all my pills.  But, it is working and that is all I care about.  I still want to sleep all the time (heart pills cause that) and my energy level sucks but, I feel like I am living for a change.  I hated the other chemo as it took almost the whole time to recover and I was back at treatment again. 

With the Nivolumab I can have a life and we can get away camping...seeing our new granddaughter...visiting family and spending the day with my brother and sister-in-law on the lake in a boat...having supper with the family...feeling normal.  I miss normal!!!!

So...we keep on with the treatments and see where the next six weeks takes me.  I am so swimming!